Scully, It’s Me.

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I went into these past few months with the goals of being more self focused having no zero days. Let me tell ya, this first month of year 25 for me has been a doozy.  I am incredibly thankful for this past month and all of the absolutely amazing experiences. Here’s a little snippet of the past 31 days (plus a little extra because I’m a cheat).

I started this birthday month (okay this is my cheating one, because technically this was before my birthday and not even in the same month, oh wellll) with winning our first (and only) volleyball game of this season with only have four people. It was finally a game where we all came together and tried a little harder, but most importantly had a ton of fun which I honestly think was what made the difference! IMG_20180826_104103_01

Next, was my actual birthday in which I had to work. BUT, we got to go to a horse farm and watch all of our kiddos do awesome with the therapeutic horses and digging up the courage to ride the horses themselves! After work, my coworkers came out for some birthday drinks and apps at the snug which also happens to be the first place that I ever went to with my coworkers. These people have 100% made my past year of employment bearable and actually enjoyable (for the most part, because work is work no matter what you do). I have never been one to really dive into friendships, especially with coworkers/classmates/internship peeps. However, SASS really does a thing to ya where all barriers just disappear and you accept that these are your people whether you like them or not. Thankfully I liked them and plan on keeping them around now that SASS is a part of the past (kinda). 2018080295213533951533263836979

That weekend I went to a cubs game with friends and family for both mine and Megan’s birthday. I had entirely too much fun and was thankful, again, to continue to have my life long friends despite the fact that I don’t see them nearly as often as I would like to.  I was also thankful that I got to introduce a new hopefully life long friend to the mix. Some people are hesitant about mixing friend groups, but I have always been one who wants all the people that I like to be around in one place at the same time. Making my sister take a Malort shot was the icing on the cake; going to cheezies was the sprinkles-dear god do I love carbs and cheese.

 

The next morning we had our work 5K race and after that I had my family birthday party. My aunt was in from Texas, which was an added treat. Now that people are getting older, I am happy that we still get to all spend time together and wish that we would do more of it. FullSizeR_01

The next week, we left for Virginia for some Charlottesville fun and camping and hiking in Shenandoah National Park.  Shout out to Sarah for doing all of the driving, you are an angel. This trip was easily one of my favorite that I have ever taken. It was the perfect mix of nights out, relaxation, good natured fun, laughs with friends, enjoying the outdoors, and challenging ourselves. The hike that we did was one for the books, and I am so glad that a little rain led us to doing that one rather than we one we had originally planned on.  Here’s to easy going people who also want to enjoy experiences and the world around them. I am definitely making it a priority to see more of the natural world around me and going to as many national parks as I can.

 

After we got back, I had an entire week filled with smaller experiences that were equally as fulfilling. Whether it was dinner with friends, book club where we watched a movie instead, more volleyball, or working late nights at the bar- I appreciated all of these because each experience continues to add a little more to this life of mine. (Also found out some super exciting news and almost cried allllll the happy tears).

The following week was a little bit more trying with difficult clients, workplace drama, and trying to recover from all the fun that was had. BUT ice cream breaks, office coffees, coworker lunches, and blueberry turnovers made it all a little easier.

The next weekend we had our work team bonding at the bowling alley. It was nice to get to spend time with coworkers that I usually don’t spend too much time with outside of work. I was surprised, but really glad, that we continued the night of getting to know each other a little better, bonding outside of a stressful environment, and enjoying some live music and hilarious dancing.

 

AND THEN I FUCKING MET GILLIAN ANDERSON AND DAVID DUCHOVNY. And my life was 100% made. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I love X files.  The past few years have had their trials, and strong women figures such as Dana Scully have been a good source of inspiration to get through these trials. Gillian Anderson has also been a great real life inspiration for womanhood over the past few months for me, so getting to take a picture with her had me over the moon.  David Duchovny is a nice piece of ash himself, so I wasn’t complaining about him also being present. Please see below for the CHEESIEST smile to ever cross my face. img_20180831_134554015_hdr

The next week was a little blasé because, come on, how do you follow up Gillian Anderson. But it was filled with more little experiences like ice cream two days in a row and break through sessions with clients that kept the good feelin’ momentum going.

Finally, I ended my first month of my 25th year of life with a weekend in Madison in which lots of drinks were had, 13.1 miles in the rain was run, and then more drinks and running in the rain because why not.  My  body was not happy with me, but my heart was full. Despite all of the terrible conditions, I am proud that I was able to complete my first half marathon and have enough fun that I am crazy enough to do it again.

 

All in all I am more than satisfied with how this first month has gone. I think that I am living up to all of the promises that I have made myself recently. I hope to keep up the momentum in September (but maybe be a little wiser, because I am broke as a joke). Next month, I want to continue these trends, but I also want to shift my focus to being more unapologetically me and taking more concrete steps in creating a life I won’t be regretful of.  I’d love to be able to break down individual experiences more, because they each do mean so much in so many different ways. But if I am too busy out there living them (my calendar had events on 25/31 days of August) to be able to write about them, I am more than okay with it. If more time does come, then I might just come back to a few of the things mentioned above.  Until then, cheers to being 25 and cheers to all of the people that help to make my life that much more special.

Goodbye, Hello.

“Say goodbye like a plague. Say it like all you’ve ever wanted to be is the sun on their skin and the air in their lungs. Say it because it was good. Say it like the last time you touched and the first time you realized you were happy. Say it because you’re not now. Say it because if you don’t, you never will. Say it because you have nothing left to say.”

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So this is my third attempt at a blog (third times the charm right??), and I am hopeful that this time it will stick a little bit better than the last two since it means a little bit more to me personally.

This past year (for some reason at 25 I still determine years by school years and lease renewals rather than actual calendar years) has been a roller coaster of trials and tribulations. A few months ago, I found myself exhausted in every sense of the word; emotional, physical, spiritual, you name it. I was exhausted despite having the most regular sleeping, eating, exercising habits that I have had since Freshman year of college- how was that 7 years ago already?! I was going through the motions daily; not able to give my all (or even very much) to my work, my clients, my family, my friends, and myself. There came a day that I felt like I was truly at my breaking point (the kind that isn’t all tears and yelling, but rather enormous amounts of indifference and shoulder shrugs). I realized that I had been forgetting one of the most important parts of life; I wasn’t being me. I wasn’t working to find the parts of me that I have yet to discover.  So I turned to my powerful role models, both real and fiction (shout out Dana Scully).

First, I took an introspective look at the past year. The past year was full of newness; new home, new adventures, new job, new friends, new fur babies.  However, this past year was also full of patterns, full of stagnation, full of rote days and weeks and months. I realized I was forgetting to live with intention. I had all of these new things, but they were often new things that simply happened to me out of convenience rather than big picture life choices.

Second, I decided I needed to take back my life and make it into something I was proud of living.  I have no idea what that looks like yet, but I am looking forward to finding out through endless trial and error.  So here I am, at the start of the new year (please see above on how I classify years).  For those who have made it this far, thanks for reading. Hopefully, some of you will stick around to see how this all plays out. And if not, then that’s okay too because this is about me being me for me.  If you do decide to stick around, buckle up! I have a feeling it’s going to be a bumpy ride as I navigate this world, but well worth what I learn. Hopefully you’ll learn something with me.

Here’s to being a (almost) 25 year old, newly single woman social working my way through life as a dog mom of two who loves chocolate, X-files, and adventures. I am glad to have you along with me for this journey.